ARGH and more ARGH

To say that this miscarriage is not going well would be the understatement of the century.

I took Cytotec last Saturday and couldn't manage to pass the necessary amounts of tissue. I took another dose of Cytotec PLUS something else that I don't remember AND got Vicodin this weekend. Still didn't manage to get the job done. I got completely sick yesterday and passed out several times. Jay came home from work and made me go into the ER, which apparently was a good decision. The dr's there hooked me up to an IV (I was severely dehydrated), gave me antibiotics (I managed to get a bladder infection somehow), gave me morphine (I have the worst headache/migraine of my entire life), and did a round of ultrasounds to figure out that I still have a huge amount of tissue left inside. After 7 hours of being at the ER (I would like to say that it was  a hell-ish experience, but the truth is, I was on morphine and it was quite blissful actually!), they sent me home with a load of drugs (including Percoset and more antibiotics) and instructions to see my ob/gyn this morning.

So, in marches the entire Butterfield brigade to the dr this morning. I swear people must just cringe when they see us coming lately. I look like hell- sweatpants, no makeup, glasses; Harry has a fistful of cars/airplanes; Emma in her stroller usually eating something crumbly and messy; and Jay looking like he'd rather be anywhere but there. ;) They did another round of ultrasounds which showed the same thing as last night (Imagine that? Apparently they don't really transfer ultrasounds from the hospital?!), so after the dr attempted to take it out herself (OUCH OUCH OUCH!!), she gave up and scheduled me for surgery on Thurs morning.  Apparently, one round of these Cytotec pills is so effective that over 93% of patients are completely done within 5-7 days. However, our little 1/2 Butterfield 1/2 Prettyman is so stinkin stubborn that he's resisted 2 rounds of the pills and now is making his poor exhausted mommy go through surgery. ARGH.

This is one of those times that I HATE being a military family. How nice it would be to just drop the kids off at Auntie so-and-so's or the grandparents' and have my husband at my side.... I don't want to hear anybody complain about how often they see family for at least 6 months. Capisce? Katie is flying in on Saturday, thank GOD. I don't think I've ever been so happy to know that my little sister is coming. Although, I do believe that Harry is the most excited of everybody and I am leaving it to Kates to tell him that she's not sleeping in his bunk bed with him... ;)

Hawaii Pictures

Okay, I gave up. I'm so far behind in blogging that I'm just going to post all of the pictures. I'll try to insert funny stories from the trip as I go, but for now, this will have to do. 

Please click:

HERE

My Little Hula Girl

Just a little something to tide you over until I feel up to loading more pictures and blogging more....

Our Baby

I went in on Friday for my ultrasound. I knew the minute that they showed the picture on the screen that something was wrong. Apparently, we lost our sweet little baby Tree at Week 5. I had what's known as a "missed miscarriage." Basically, my uterus is STILL producing the pregnancy hormones, despite the baby having been gone for 7 weeks. My body was still growing, still craving, and still nauseous despite our loss. This was an extremely rough weekend for the four of us, emotionally and physically for me. Jay and I are mostly in shock and trying to deal with things, Harry is upset that his baby Tree is gone, and Emma is upset because she's reading off our emotions, despite not understanding the reasons.

I ask for your prayers for our family right now. Thank you to everyone who has called or expressed their sympathy and support. I'm sorry for not being available to talk, its too difficult right now. Please pray for the 4 of us as we deal with this. 

These are My Footprints

Author Unknown

These are my footprints, so perfect and so small. These tiny footprints, never touched the ground at all.

Not one tiny footprint, for now I have my wings. These tiny footprints were meant for other things.

You will hear my tiny footprints, in the patter of the rain. Gentle drops like angels’ tears, of joy and not from pain.

You will see my tiny footprints, in each butterflies' lazy dance. I'll let you know I'm with you, if you give me just a chance.

You will see my tiny footprints, in the rustle of the leaves. I will whisper names into the wind, and call each one that grieves.

Most of all, these tiny footprints, are found in mummy's heart, cause even though I'm gone now, we'll never truly part.

Hawaii, Part 1

We're HOME. Not that any of us are particularly happy about it, but we're here and Jay's back to work already. We had an AMAZING time, as you'll clearly be able to see from our pictures. I'm going to try and space them out as to not completely overwhelm you, and also set up an online album, as I'll never be able to post them all on here, but want to share them with our avid readers. ;)

Here's a little taste of what's to come. I have a sinus headache and have been unpacking all day, so this will have to do for tonight, but I promise I'll try and get to more tomorrow....

Hawaii Here We Come!

Yup, the day has finally come. Harry's had his suitcase packed since the day we bought tickets, and tomorrow he actually gets to use it. :) Our plane leaves at 6:15 am, which means Jay and I have to get up at the ungodly hour of 4am, but it means that we will be landed in Honolulu by 3:30pm. :) WHOOP!

We're bringing the mac, so I'll have Yahoo and e-mail hopefully (I"m assuming our hotel has internet) and I'm hoping to be able to post pictures during the trip too, in the hopes of avoiding a massive load when we get back. Yeah, good luck with that... I'm sure I'd rather be sitting in the hotel room blogging instead of laying on the beach.... lol- see you in a WEEK!!

Emma Snuggles and Harry Does Gymnastics!

Last night, Emma kept coming up to Jay on the couch and pulling on his arm. He finally obliged and got up with her and let her lead him. Apparently, she wanted him to snuggle with her in HER bed. She covered him up with a blankie and then started her version of "snuggling." There are some cute pictures (Jay does NOT fit in a toddler bed!! lol) and I'm hoping this video will load....

Harry started Gymnastics today. We signed him up on base- he'll go every Weds for 45 minutes and his friend Anna is in his class. He's SO excited that she's there. He kept saying, "and I flipped, and ANNA was there too!" I think he has a little crush... :) The kids did the balance beam, "log rolling" down a pad, back somersaults off a pad (with teacher's help!), and even got to do FLIPS on the bars at the end of class. Obviously, that was the best part for my little fellow. I'm hoping that video will load as well. 

Also, I created a poll: at the top right, there's a poll as to what sex you think Baby Tree is. I voted already, so you'll just have to guess what I think! Although, I have been right on with the first two monkeys, but you'll have to buy me ice cream to get it out of me this time!! :)